Ye Olde Linoleum Shoppe

Tuesday, 14 June 2011

HAVE YOU MET MY WIFE?



My darling wife is a real treasure! She's been dead for several years now but I don't let that bijou detail spoil our relationship. We are inseparable, often seen together on the main Terenure thoroughfare, me wearing my plus fours and monacle and her ladyship stretched out on the handcart before me (it's an antique handcart, very much in the mode of Molly Malone.) I always raise Her Ladyship's pale little hand to give a polite wave as the charming peasantry of our village pass. Detouring into our local haberdashery shop is a standard part of our walk. This Aladdin's Cave of gewgaws, gimcracks, trifles &c. is known as 'Kacsynski's' and it is here we puchase a demijohn of embalming fluid (just to keep Her Ladyship sweet.)
'Greetings Infidel,' is how Mr. Kacsynski bids us welcome. 'I'll give you five euro for the stiff. Scrap value.' But I will never be parted from my darling.
I do wish she would occasionally cook dinner though . . .

4 comments:

  1. Conor's very patient wife should, I suggest, take that angle-poised lamp and get medieval with it...

    ReplyDelete
  2. maybe if she had she would still be alive!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Conor, do remember that she uses abrasives, hot irons and caustic chemicals for a living and you have to sleep under the same roof...

    ReplyDelete

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Ireland
I am a descended from a long line of conga dancers. I occasionally wear shoes. I gave up going to the toilet twenty years ago - it's a filthy habit. I have a pet bunny called Mucky - he's a filthy rabbit.

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