Ye Olde Linoleum Shoppe

Wednesday, 30 November 2011

MY CHRISTMAS LIST

Dash it all I'm not out of touch with my feminine side! I like playing with dolls as much as every other square jawed, manly archaeologist. And just to prove it - here's what I've asked dearest Santa to send down my chimney during the Yuletide festivities.
Also on my list is the accessory pack. As every wide shouldered, stubble cheeked archaeologist knows, success in our chosen muddy metier is all about the accessories!
1. High-vis Stella McCartney PPE bikini.
2. Jimmy Choo steel toecaps.
3. Tiger prawn and cucumber sandwiches (cut into ladylike triangles.)
4. Gucci wayfarers.
5. Miu Miu leather bag containing Valentino 4H pencil and Marc Jacobs eraser.
6. Orange Mocha Frappuccino made with civet coffee beans.
7. De Beers Tiara (can't be seen on an excavation without one!)
8. Beaker pot made by an unknown, jumped up Chalcolithic has-been.
9. Crouched Inhumation Ken.


Mind you, if your tastes are a touch more earthy you could do worse than go for the Gimbutas Approved Dolly . . .
Heavens above! I don't know what it is about that ducky Venus figurine but it always makes my loins fruity! Excuse me, but I'm off to satiate myself from within the fortified sanctity of a christian marriage. WOO-HOO!!


Until next time fellow macho archaeological doll collectors - Tooraloora!

2 comments:

  1. Hale McConnor
    deft and strange
    torch for cynic and
    blessed pen

    ReplyDelete

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Ireland
I am a descended from a long line of conga dancers. I occasionally wear shoes. I gave up going to the toilet twenty years ago - it's a filthy habit. I have a pet bunny called Mucky - he's a filthy rabbit.

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