Ye Olde Linoleum Shoppe

Saturday, 11 February 2012

DINNER WITH MARK ZUCKERBERG



I finally gave in to (my old streaking buddy) Mark Zuckerberg's badgering requests to have dinner over at his. The man's a dreadful bore but I couldn't say no forever.
He met me at the hall door with a damp handshake and said: 'It's so good to connect with you and build platforms.'
'Sorry?' I said. This questioning tone seemed to enflame Mark's anger.
'Just take off your f**king shoes and give them to me!!' He roared.
Never one to argue I complied and he put on my shoes. This had a calming effect on him.
'You know,' he said, 'It's great to share, sharing is all about transparency and crossing bridges.'
'Mark,' I said, in a concerned fashion, 'Bridges? Transparency? - I haven't a G*dd**ned notion what you're on about.'
'Your trousers,' he bellowed, 'I want those too! And that shirt! And your socks and kegs too!'
Needless to say, my progressing state of nudity was having a cooling effect on the evening.
'What we have here is a partnership, one of social music and shared clothing,' said Mark softly. His movements were slow, now that he had all my clothes on over his own.
'I think I'd like to go home now Mark,' I said, my bottom lip wobbling and a tear welling up in my eye.
Mark lifted a can opener - it seemed to provoke a Pavlovian response in him . . . 'You're not going anywhere,' he drooled, 'until I have peeled your soul away from your carcass. . .'



Which is a very hypocritical way of saying I have started up a facebook page.
http://www.facebook.com/pages/My-Cartoon-Version-of-Reality/127966490659260?sk=wall
Please do join in the fun. I hope to sort out a like button on this page but I don't understand HTML stuff so it could be many moons 'ere that arrives.

6 comments:

  1. Don't worry - the 'like' button is there - it's just not visible to anyone who has already liked the page or its creators/admins!
    His Grace, The Dutchess of York

    ReplyDelete
  2. Please dont desert us for that bloody facebookcrapbollox what i hate.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Is that you Mr. Zuckerberg? No, the blog is very much the meat and potatoes of the internet meal I am furnishing. I have no intention of forcing my dear readers to live off a crummy dessert of sawdust and salt cod.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am relieved - my stalking days arent done

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oooh a stalker! Fame at last!!

    ReplyDelete

Hello

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Ireland
I am a descended from a long line of conga dancers. I occasionally wear shoes. I gave up going to the toilet twenty years ago - it's a filthy habit. I have a pet bunny called Mucky - he's a filthy rabbit.

AND NOW FOR SOME SHAMELESSLY DIMINUTIVE FACES IN SMALL SQUARE BOXES