How does Swiety Mikolaj (as they call him in Poland) do it? I'll admit to being a Godless bead-mumbler but when one sees the miracles Joulupukki (as they have monikered him in Finland) performs, one begins to wonder is it possible there may, after all, be a God?
Yes, it was 'Grand Theft Archaeology Mesolithic' that took top marks among my Xmas chattels. It's the sequel to 'Grand Theft Archaeology Palaeolithic' and what a game it is! Simply insert the disc into the superlative Playbox 2 and using your well polished joystick you wander into an innocent boyish cyber-heaven of blunt trowel beheadings, defiling corpses, damp sandwiches and turning rent boys into roadkill with the aid of a wheelbarrow. Ahh! It brought a tear to my eye, reminding me as it did, of the erstwhile days of yore during the last building boom.
Baba Chagaloo (that's Him in Afghanistan) gave me several books of an educational nature and they are all greatly appreciated as a means of feigning intellectual depth by arranging them suggestively on my mahogany sideboard. I never read the foul things though, literature is (much like going to the loo) a filthy habit. And when they have done their job of educational fakery they will add vigour to the roaring fire in my stove.
And once again thank you dearest Kanakaloka (as they say in Hawaii,) for all your kind gifts, beat those sweatshop elves harder than usual this coming year so that I may enjoy more outstanding consumer goods for Christmas 2012.
Pass my pipe and slippers darling, and be quick about it lest you inflame my ire!
Until Next Week Archaeochrimassophiles!