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Thursday, 18 August 2011

FASHION TIPS FOR ARCHAEOLOGISTS No. 4

GIOVANNI  BELZONI THE STRONGMAN OF STYLE


'Every step I took I crushed a mummy in some part or other,'
G. Belzoni.


You know when I was a mere gassune living in a potato sack swinging aloft from a high voltage line Giovanni Belzoni would often swagger in to visit my family.
'Allo!' He would utter in his strong Paduan accent, 'And ow are zee McHale's?'
'What did that hairy fella say?' My father would grunt.
'I don't know but if he doesn't get out of this sack soon it's going to rip and we'll all be killed.' My Mother would gently point out.
He's was quite the man was dear old Belzo, he single handedly invented curds, put an end to the tidal system in the Mediterranean and even redirected the sun so it faced the earth and in so doing ended millennia of darkness.
And when he wasn't blowing the living shit out of Egyptian monuments and desecrating their contents he was shipping them off to foreign countries to be ground up as fish food.
But above all - he dressed like a complete twat.
Hats off to The Great Belzoni!










2 comments:

  1. I've got to say, I've read through your blog and It is simply incredible, and has had me chuckling away. I might even have to pinch myself a few times to make sure it is actually real!

    I'll be sure to share it with all my archaeologically minded friends!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Don't bother pinching yourself. None of this is real, it's simply a side effect of your arthritic knees.

    ReplyDelete

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