TOGHERS

Some old colleagues of mine (who I spent an unusually colorful weekend with in a Turkish prison) have started a Facebook group related to all things wet and archaeological, it's all about sharing the archaeological love found in superabundance on Irish bogs everywhere (even the Russian ones -did you know we export?). Magnificent, wonderful, consummate, peachy, do have a look (because I'm tired of kissing ass now.)

I'm going to be contributing the odd (hopefully monthly) sausage stuffer such as the one below.


Here's the link: Togher: Irish Raised Bog Archaeology


And here's my contribution:

TRADITIONAL  IRISH  BOG  TRACK  RECIPE

Ingredients:

One medium sized tree.

Sphagnum moss (one acre.)

Salt and Pepper.

 1. Ask your local timber merchant for a whole organic tree. Chop down, then remove giblets. (Retain giblets, see below.)

 2. With a sharp knife cleave a series of radial planks from the trunk. (Don't attempt to do this with wooden wedges, as many experts claim it was done, it doesn't work.)

 3. Season planks.

 4. Mortice and grill planks until a dark brown hue is achieved. Be sure to tell your Mother you're using her toaster, (don't use your own, it will only make shit of it.)

5. Arrange planks on a bed of fresh sphagnum. Pin in place with tenons (use cocktail sticks if your local hardware  provider is out of tenons.) Before serving, if desired, garnish with chariot, block wheeled cart or badly drawn stone-ager in bear skins (as seen in countless reconstruction drawings.)

Hint: Boil giblets with a mixture of methamphetamine, vodka and gin to make a fortifying stock.

SO HERE'S TO BOGS, MUSKEGS, SWAMPS, FENS AND QUAGMIRES EVERYWHERE - AND ALL THOSE WHO TOIL IN THEM, TOO-RAH-LOO-RAH-LOORAH.