Ye Olde Linoleum Shoppe

Tuesday, 5 July 2011

THE HIDDEN VAULTS OF THE NATIONAL MUSEUM OF IRELAND



At last, thanks to the extraordinary phenomenon (do-do-dee-do-do) of deep-earth-geological-cross-section I am able to reveal the contents of the hidden vaults of the National Museum of Ireland. After this revelation, if I should die in an unusual fashion (mayhap drowned in a bathtub of lard,) you will know those who wish to keep these things silent have caught up with me and you are probably next!



May God help us all but the truth must be told!



This is my last posting before my annual 'Holiday.' I'll be back in August.

Sunday, 3 July 2011

FASHION TIPS FOR ARCHAEOLOGISTS No. 2

PANTS (or is it SLACKS?)
SINCE as far back as 1958 (see Michaels and Mouse) the term 'pants' had been used to describe the leg garments of achaeologists. Before this (during the Culture-Historical phase of archaeology) they were variously called 'britches,' 'culottes' or 'pantaloons.' With the advent of post-processualism the word 'slacks' has proved far more popular - anyone with an ear for the West of Ireland brogue will recognise this term quite readily as 'schlecks' - as in: 'Them is a grend pair of schlecks you're wearing bucko.'
With the death of Howard Carter in 1939 (a tragic accident involving a milk lorry, newspaper headlines ran 'CARTER CREAMED') the World Congress of Mud Jockeys decided that all archaeologists should, from that day forth, as a mark of respect, wear their trousers at half mast . . .
Fig. 1a shows the leg garment being worn in the typical processual half mast hoisted fashion. And perfectly respectable it looks too.
Fig. 1b shows one of those infernal post-processualists in their arriviste half mast lowered slacks.
Far be it from me to tell anyone how to wear their pants/slacks but these post-processualists must be stopped! Along with their bizarre desires to keep chickens in their back gardens and their taste for rocquette in their salads how-do-you-do!
Whatever way you choose to wear your 'pants'/'schlecks' on the battlefield of modern archaeology please be aware not to make either of the two cardinal sins of trouserisation . . .
or worse still . . .

until next time archaeofashionistas

Saturday, 2 July 2011

CAPTION COMPETITION CLOSED

Yes it's over. Only five people entered and five people won. Well done Cathy, Aidan, Conor, Alan and Johnny. The first three will have their prizes delivered to UCD. Alan you can have the B&W original drawing (it's digitally coloured so it exists in the real world as B&W.) Johnny - ring Alan at some stage get my number off him and I'll get a linoblock print to you.
Check the comments under the last Meeting House Sq. posting to see your fabulous(ish) captions
Doesn't free stuff rock!

Hello

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Ireland
I am a descended from a long line of conga dancers. I occasionally wear shoes. I gave up going to the toilet twenty years ago - it's a filthy habit. I have a pet bunny called Mucky - he's a filthy rabbit.

AND NOW FOR SOME SHAMELESSLY DIMINUTIVE FACES IN SMALL SQUARE BOXES